Dear Bart,

It is good to get these regular updates from you…keep them coming.

I don’t know if you remember previous conversations we’ve had via email…mostly about putting up vulnerable people in our own house.  Well we are still doing that…or are at least open to it, but I have been wanting to take something a bit further.

I personally am not a massive fan of our institutional church and therefore don’t tend to participate regularly in any church on a weekly basis, and I feel like we are lucky to live in a deprived area of our city. Income is low, unemployment high, crime levels high etc… Me and my house mate were chatting about maybe putting on a weekly meal…to serve as a get together for the community and a space we can explore the spiritual side of our estate.  This email is just really to ask….any ideas? What are the possible problems with this sort idea….do ya think it’ll work?

I’m fairly confident 99% of our estate will have a)never been to church or b) only been for wedding, funeral or christening…..and we wanna try and break some of the preconceptions of a) Christians themselves and mainly b) Jesus himself.

I would love it if you could get back to me with some things to think about.

Peace

Stan
London

Dear Stan,

I have no time…but lots of ideas.

Be sure there are at least three of you on the planning/loving committee.  Loving poor people is a team sport.

Don’t even think about advertising…do it by invitation only, and don’t invite everybody you want the first time.  Build it slowly.

If you don’t know anyone to invite, then you aren’t ready for a dinner yet.   You’re ready to walk around, and to go to the Laundromat, and to chat up the folks you meet at the bus stop, and to volunteer at the local library instead. 

Eat family style, not buffet like a soup kitchen.  Use real plates and glasses if you can, even if they are mismatched ones from a thrift store, and tablecloths too. 

Be sure you have a few of the intentional lovers at every table of spread around one big table, and have some conversation starter questions on printed cards visible to keep things moving if they get slow.  Let your spiritual input come out in your own answers to the questions, not in a prepared message.  That may come later, once your group is really a group.

Let it grown organically, by extending yourselves to people connected to the people you know already.

Invest in good food for a few, not cheap food for many. 

Try to avoid having kids come without their adults.  Tell the adults you know that it’s not OK to just send their kids. 

Don’t start out promising that it’s weekly.  Do one and evaluate.  Do another a few weeks later, and see what works.  Talk to those who come and see if they want to make it weekly, which will increase their sense of participation if you do so.

Don’t worry if people seem disinterested or if the dinners themselves are occasionally lousy events.  If your neighbors were socially gifted and warmly thankful, they wouldn’t need you in the first place.

Don’t name it…if it works it will end up naming itself.

Don’t forget to laugh at yourselves all along the way.  Intentionally loving your neighbors the way you want to is a beautiful thing…but it’s completely absurd.

Your friend,

Bart

Dear Bart,

It is good to get these regular updates from you…keep them coming.

I don’t know if you remember previous conversations we’ve had via email…mostly about putting up vulnerable people in our own house.  Well we are still doing that…or are at least open to it, but I have been wanting to take something a bit further.

I personally am not a massive fan of our institutional church and therefore don’t tend to participate regularly in any church on a weekly basis, and I feel like we are lucky to live in a deprived area of our city. Income is low, unemployment high, crime levels high etc… Me and my house mate were chatting about maybe putting on a weekly meal…to serve as a get together for the community and a space we can explore the spiritual side of our estate.  This email is just really to ask….any ideas? What are the possible problems with this sort idea….do ya think it’ll work?

I’m fairly confident 99% of our estate will have a)never been to church or b) only been for wedding, funeral or christening…..and we wanna try and break some of the preconceptions of a) Christians themselves and mainly b) Jesus himself.

I would love it if you could get back to me with some things to think about.

Peace

Stan
London

Dear Stan,

I have no time…but lots of ideas.

Be sure there are at least three of you on the planning/loving committee.  Loving poor people is a team sport.

Don’t even think about advertising…do it by invitation only, and don’t invite everybody you want the first time.  Build it slowly.

If you don’t know anyone to invite, then you aren’t ready for a dinner yet.   You’re ready to walk around, and to go to the Laundromat, and to chat up the folks you meet at the bus stop, and to volunteer at the local library instead. 

Eat family style, not buffet like a soup kitchen.  Use real plates and glasses if you can, even if they are mismatched ones from a thrift store, and tablecloths too. 

Be sure you have a few of the intentional lovers at every table of spread around one big table, and have some conversation starter questions on printed cards visible to keep things moving if they get slow.  Let your spiritual input come out in your own answers to the questions, not in a prepared message.  That may come later, once your group is really a group.

Let it grown organically, by extending yourselves to people connected to the people you know already.

Invest in good food for a few, not cheap food for many. 

Try to avoid having kids come without their adults.  Tell the adults you know that it’s not OK to just send their kids. 

Don’t start out promising that it’s weekly.  Do one and evaluate.  Do another a few weeks later, and see what works.  Talk to those who come and see if they want to make it weekly, which will increase their sense of participation if you do so.

Don’t worry if people seem disinterested or if the dinners themselves are occasionally lousy events.  If your neighbors were socially gifted and warmly thankful, they wouldn’t need you in the first place.

Don’t name it…if it works it will end up naming itself.

Don’t forget to laugh at yourselves all along the way.  Intentionally loving your neighbors the way you want to is a beautiful thing…but it’s completely absurd.

Your friend,

Bart